Mandatory overtime
Well, isn’t this an interesting development? Boy, did I have myself fooled. I was so smug, thinking I had it allll figured out! How I’d done my therapy years ago, got to the bottom of it all, and, man, look how strong I was to figure all my psychoses out and lay them to rest.
Ha! What a dumbass. Boy was I wrong! I fell back down that slope last night, sliding right into that seemingly bottomless pit of regret, confusion, and anger. Oh the anger! Where have you been my long lost nemesis? I haven’t missed you.
But, by the grace of god, my wife appears to have unlimited patience with me. We had a “tailgate” talk (we go out to my truck and lay the tailgate down, converse, hug, cry, laugh) last night, we made love, fell asleep in each others arms. God, where would I be without her? Probably six feet under, years ago. And now I have new sounding boards. Terrific people, people who don’t know me at all, don’t judge me at all, and they take their time and provide me with wisdom and advice. Good advice. Advice that I will heed, appreciate, and apply. Thank you, and hopefully you know who you are. Thank you for being patient with me. I was reluctant to start doing this for a while. I’d read and lurk without committing to do this thing. When I finally decided to, I wondered if I’d even be noticed, and if I were, would I be chewed up and spit out. Quite the contrary. I’ve met and chatted with some amazing people and I can’t thank y’all enough. You guys have been terrific to me and I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate that.
so, in the spirit of hanging on, keepin on, and not giving up, my song of the day will one I used when my wife was absent after her mom died, and during our subsequent marriage problems. I would listen to it and tell myself the message as well. Note to self: keep plugging away! I’ve been on the clock for a while now but I obviously have much more work to do. Mandatory overtime, here I come.
the song is “Don’t Fade On Me” by Tom Petty. I’m gonna try not to.
My hubby and I used to do the very same thing in the bed of our truck! Back when we lived at a house, not in this god forsaken apartment complex…
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Things are great between us now but we still have em. My wife coined the phrase. There’s something about sitting outside, total quiet with no distractions, every star in the sky close enough to reach out and touch, and moonlight on our faces that makes us open up and discuss whatever. Been doing it for years now, to great benefit. May you find your way back to a home. Yes, apt living sucks. That’s how I grew up, moving from shithole to shithole. Not fun!
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Yeah I agree! I love being out under the stars! We live in a really complex but have a horrendous c*nt living above us. I have blogged about her a few times. I call her by her very own special nickname I made up for her. I am listening to her thunder aground above me as I write this…
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God, somebody above you is the worst! My MIL used to say the world is full of people not cursed with self-awareness. She sounds like exhibit A
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Well this particular miserable individual DELIBERATELY STOMPS every time she sees my car parked in the carport. If we hide my car and she thinks I am not home, she walks normally. It takes an incredible amount of self control on my part to not just start unloading my firearm up through the ceiling…
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I hear ya. She sounds like piece of work!!!
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Through and through!
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