sonofabeach96

By: sonofabeach96

Jul 26 2015

Category: Uncategorized

11 Comments

Is it just me?  Am I the only one?  Does anyone else have difficulty in turning their mind off?  In those moments of downtime, does your mind bounce back and forth, like a ping-pong ball in one of those lotto games?  Well, mine does. And it’s exhausting sometimes.

I’m a night owl by nature, more comfortable staying up til 4:00a.m. and waking at noon than I am with, the more realistic, to bed around 11:00 and up at 5:30a.m. that is jobs and kids.  So it’s fairly easy for me to fall into a bit of insomnia.  My damn brain does me no favors in this regard.  Often, the moments when I first lay down are the busiest in the traffic clusterfuck that my mind can be.  Reminds me of “Crosstown Traffic” by Jimi Hendrix.  But I digress (see what I mean?).

And that’s the thing.  I CAN focus…when I have a purpose.  I do fine at work.  And I have to focus on my patients and all of the endless documentation that is required in today’s world of healthcare providing.  If I’m completing a home repair project, and I’ve done many, some very complicated, as we naively bought a dilapidated, vacant old farmhouse 15 years ago, I can do it and stay focused.

But its in those down times that I wander, that I drift in and out of thoughts, worries, friends, appointments, work, kids, wife.  And they’re so quick in coming, and fleeting in time present.  Like a lightning strike, BAM, outta nowhere, and gone quickly while leaving an indelible ethereal outline for a second.  Then, BAM, another one over there.  They come and they go, one hen another.  Often on totally divergent and unrelated topics, sent off on a tangent by a word or an image.  Sheesh!  Is it just me?  Is it ADD? I don’t really know.   I just kinda wish my brain was like a radio and I could just turn down the volume sometimes.

edit:

here sit, front porch swing , wide awake, 1::00 in the morning.  Geez!