Unfinished projects

By: sonofabeach96

Jul 27 2015

Category: Uncategorized


Today was a work on the house day.  I was covered in dust and debris from removing old and somewhat rotted beadboard from our laundry room ceiling.  It’s a galley-style room, only about 7 feet wide but about 24 feet long.  So there’s quite a bit of demo in there.  Once the old wood is down, we see the old insulation is hay, just another of the long list of surprises we’ve found when taking out walls and re-drywalling others.  And the half dozen or so sloughed snake skins found were a bit of a surprise as well.

Anyway, between trips up and down the ladder, out and back to the saw, cleanup of the dust and debris inferno that erupted when that old ceiling was removed, kids needing food and attention, and losing energy, the project was left incomplete at the end of my evening.  This sorta scenario used to drive me nuts.  If I started a job, I wanted to get it done that day and would stay up way past hours to get it done.  I was impatient, rushed, and often it would lead to not the best result.  

Today, though, I took my time, I measured twice and cut once, I made sure that, even though not all of the work was finished, what was completed was done well.

This is kinda how I view my journey of self-reflection, learning, and healing old wounds.  Much the same way I’m remodeling my beloved old farmhouse, I’m restoring myself.  Just like her 113 years have left rot, wear and tear, and listing floors, my 46 years have resulted resentment, anger, frustrations, and angst.  And just as I will restore this old house back to its heyday, I will continue to repaint, retile, redrywall, and reroof my psyche.  Trust me!  With a house of this vintage, and the amount of time it spent vacant, there has been much work completed, but much work remains.  I am the same.

I’m more patient now than I was in my youth.  I can wait to complete this project that was not seen to fruition in the timeframe I expected.  Nor will I be healed, mentally healthy, and free of past resentments in a quick turnaround.  Just like remodeling an old house takes time, especially while trying to do it while raising 3 kids and working full-time, with an hour commute twice a day thrown in, so does learning about myself, teaching myself, and healing myself.  Just as I work on one room at a time until it is finished, I work on one issue at a time in my mind.  It make take a looonnngggg time to finish that room.  But eventually it’ll get done.  I’m patient now.  I can take my time, measure twice and cut once, and trust that when I get it done, it’ll be done right.  Until then, much like my beautiful old house in the country, I’ll be an unfinished project.  Someday though, I’ll be restored.

16 comments on “Unfinished projects”

  1. Sounds like a lovely day!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hello 🙂 I just wanted to say that it’s a bit difficult to read since the text color mixes with the background color a little 😮

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Well well….we have one more thing in common: remodeling houses. Me too! Nearly done….one big project left: the kitchen. I’ve spent the last year tearing down our home (and myself after the confession) then transforming it into something beautiful.

    And I’m not lost on the symbolism rooted in this either….I always planned on writing about that once I get caught up on my blog. But I’ve been knee deep in demo or retiling or designing the next room. It’s a labor of love isn’t it? Marriage and the house that is 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, hey stranger! Long time no hear. Hope all is well on the western front! Yes, it’s definitely a labor of love. Nothing in this old place is straight or plumb, level or not in need of reworking. Wait, did I describe my house or me? Yes! Both! And, yes, the work on this old place, our marriage, and myself are all very much worth the effort!

      Liked by 1 person

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