Whoa, whoa….whoa!

By: sonofabeach96

Mar 02 2016

Category: Uncategorized


Do you guys ever speak before you think?  Or, more specifically to our little world here, hit “send” or “deliver message” before thinking about what a dumbass you may sound like?  Do you sometimes feel as though you’ve overstepped a boundary?  Do you ever wonder if you’ve sounded like an arrogant ass who spews their so-called expertise at every turn?  Heaving opinion and unsolicited advice upon unsuspecting posters?  Well, I do sometimes feel this way, and have recently.  I do sometimes wonder how I’m perceived by y’all.  I wonder sometimes if I’ve overstepped my boundaries, primarily because I’m not sure where those boundaries lie.

I’m not referring to my posts.   Not to sound like a selfish bastard, but those are mine.  I do them for me, for my journaling, my enjoyment of music, photos, and whatever else may strike MY fancy.  No offense to anyone, but if somebody doesn’t take a liking to what I post on MY site, then don’t read it.  It’s not going to change or be altered to fit this or that, to please them or they, nor to tell someone what to think, like, or listen to.  If you like the music I post about, great!  Listen to it.  If not, then don’t.  It’s simply what I’m listening to on a given day.  If you don’t like my political lean, I don’t care.  Don’t read it.  It’s MY opinion and written on MY timeline.  I’m not trying to convince someone to think like, act like, or vote like me.  Do your own thing!  Go you!  I’m writing about my journey, not trying to make you tag along with me.  Frankly, I prefer to be alone.

What I’m referring to are the instances where I read someone’s post, then comment on them.  If it’s a topic that I have some level of experience with, I comment.  I comment honestly, and sometimes bluntly.  I approach comments much the way I would talk across a table to a friend.  I say what I mean and I say it as heartfelt as I can.  You see, I can be a hard-ass, fuck-you, I-don’t-need-anybody individual, but I also have the curse of severe empathy, a huge heart, and care to a fault.  It’s an odd dichotomy…try living it.  But that no-nonsense attitude combined with near crippling empathy leads me to try to help….everybody, and with very little fluff at times.

If someone posts something, puts it out there for the world to see, I expect that they realize people they’ve never heard from before may find them, may comment, and may offer up unsolicited advice.  But it still feels a bit weird for me to hit send after writing a comment about a raw and sometimes serious topic to a person who’s name I don’t even know…unless their name actually is Shadowman72, or whatever.  It still feels like I’m crossing into somebody’s territory, unannounced, and dropping land-mines in their yard then sneaking off to the safety of my anonymity.  It still seems as though I’m taking liberties not granted to me.  It feels weird.

I have maybe enough close, long-term friends to count on two hands.  There’s maybe five people in the world who know everything about me.  How I talk to them, advise them, hurt with them, cry with them, laugh with them is how I treat all of you.  I respond to you from a place of caring and concern, not arrogance or agenda.  I genuinely try to conjure from my experience bank when commenting to y’all, not from ego or expertise.

I’m 47 years old.  I’ve lived, and for a large portion of those years, lived hard.  I’ve seen and felt loss and gift, love and rejection, joy and tragedy, been poor and homeless, sunk to the lowest of depths and risen to new heights.  There’s been mistakes, epic fuck ups, and even a few days in jail here and there.  To be honest, it’s a wonder I’m not dead with some of the shit I’ve tried and stunts I’ve pulled.  I’ve nearly lost the best thing in my life, and I’ve learned to give her the love she’s always needed.  I’ve raised an Autistic son and nursed 2lb. preemie twins to health and vigor.  I’ve been there, done that, bought the fucking tee-shirt.  If any of that experience is pertinent to a conversation, I lean on it.  And I come to your site with that in mind.  To help, offer an ear, offer a word of advice, or even play devil’s advocate, not to try to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do.  I’m far from perfect, that’s for damn sure, and I know it.

This whole blogging (I despise that word, by the way) thing is so bizarre to me.  I don’t know why I’m here chatting with, advising, admiring, and generally enjoying interacting with all of you, yet I generally shun most human interaction when not necessary, not out of fear or psychosis, rather by choice.  But I’m here.  I’m talking to you guys.  I’m honest and open and heartfelt.  I hope it doesn’t come off any other way.  Oh, and if I do ever step across that line, feel free to tell me to fuck off.  My feelings aren’t easily hurt.

Oh, and since I’m here, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that on this date, in 1984, the rock mock-umentary This Is Spinal Tap was released.


Directed by Rob Reiner, it follows the trail of the fictional heavy metal band Spinal Tap and hilarity ensues.  The film has a long list of stars in it including Reiner, Harry Shearer, Fred Willard, Ed Begley, Jr., Anjelica Huston, and Billy Crystal, to name a few.  The Library of Congress added it to the National Film Registry in 2002. If you’ve never seen it, I highly recommend it.

My songs of the day are:

“The Ground Walks” by Modest Mouse

“Ahes to Ashes” by David Bowie

“Pretty Pimpin'” by Kurt Vile

“How Did You Find Me Here?” by Merle Haggard

“Casual Match” by Suzanne Vega

“Alright Guy” by Todd Snyder

“Gotta Serve Somebody” by Bob Dylan

“Anything But The Truth” by Jack Johnson



53 comments on “Whoa, whoa….whoa!”

  1. I like you being here on wp, I always like your comments and your post. You send sunshine 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is why I like you SOB!!! Your Real!!! 👊👊👊 Very happy our paths have crossed!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. First Spinal Tap was freakin’ awesome.
    Second, I have always felt that free thought is becoming a problem for those who don’t truly value free thought. I like the idea of ignoring things you don’t like.
    Granted, my current blog is very self-focused, but I have had blogs were I discussed my feelings about the world around me and offended plenty of delicate sensitivities!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ya’ know, on my site, I’ll say what I damn well please. It’s mine. Don’t like it? Don’t read it. My concern is what I say on other people’s sites. I’m not trying to piss anybody off. Hope I haven’t yet.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is an instance where keeping it real goes right. Love this post. Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Diane and I were discussing this not too long ago. When you comment and get no response and then you’re like, “shit, I crossed the line.” My filters are a little porous so I hope you’ll bear that in mind when I comment and reply! 🙂 You have quite a story, sounds like. Write on, man.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Everybody’s got a story, right? Yes, I’ve been through some shit, but who hasn’t. But if someone posts something I have had some experience with, I feel like maybe I can help a bit. Not everybody appreciates that sentiment. I’ll just do what I do until I’m told to fuck off, I guess. 😃

      Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s always a pleasure to see your comments on my blog. Also, I know what you mean about avoiding people in meatspace and yet feeling comfortable interacting in cyberspace. I feel like there’s less pressure here; the need to react immediately is removed, and I can engage with people when I am ready to do so, not when they want me to. Selfish, maybe, but I find people draining. Anyway, keep it up. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve never had an issue with you and if I did I’d probably tell you to back the fuck up and I would expect you to do the same if I overstepped your boundary. Another great list!


  8. Now what is the point of commenting if you can’t be honest and bring something to the table? 😉 Keep doing what you’re doing.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Hello SoBeach, you have my support. I look forward to hearing from you when I post something. I mean “you” in a specific sense. You’re mature, professsional and a family man; someone I can learn from. For one thing, it is problematic when commenting on another person’s blog and they misinterpret you. It will happen, because not everyone is self confident or mature. So the best thing is to be very gracious and accept what they’re saying.

    On Tuesday, a woman soapboxed in my direction about real poetry. She was criticising the invention of new words and phrases to write poetry or fiction. (I do this a lot). I told her I don’t write poetry, I bare my soul. Naturally, soul baring has one qualifier: Just do it. Incidentally, the word she used to praise someone’s superior command of English does not exist. (Thereby voiding her case, as these types always do).

    My point is this: H8Rs are going to H8. They’re antisocial beings and if there’s a splinter they can insert under your thumbnail, they’ll use it. If it visits you here, tune out that humming noise until it vanishes into the ether.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Meh, if they don’t like what you have to say, they can delete the comment. It’s a virtual world, not worth overthinking IMO. 🙂

    I personally am hard to offend (that wasn’t a challenge…haha) but don’t mind agreeing to disagree on shiz.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I have stuck my foot in my mouth, several times here. Hit send and wished I could delete that comment. Even had palm sweats and hand to head moments “why would I ever say that!?!!”. Generally, I am pretty quiet in person and more cautious with my words, until I get to know a person. And yet here, I let some shit fly out of my mouth without really thinking about it. And if anybody doesn’t appreciate your sentiments SOB, then they haven’t taken the time to get know you. Fuck ’em. You rock and your insights are always appreciated. P.S. I hate the word ‘blog’ too. Sounds kinda like I am vomiting.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Ugh! Not sure why, but I dislike the word totally. Yeah, I generally keep my mouth shut if I’m not privy to a persons stuff. Feels different in this realm though. Still, I don’t want overstep boundaries. I suppose I’ll be told if I ever do. I hate arrogant know-it-all types, and I have no desire to get that kinda rep here. Guess I’ll just keep doin’ what I do and see what happens. Thanks so much, by the way. You rock as well my dear! 😃

      Liked by 1 person

  12. Almost send a gif with Ned Flander’s pecker come sliding out from underneath!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I avoid human conversation a lo. Getting to know people is fun, which is easy to do in the blogs. But it does not require the dreaded small talks that no one really cares about, that’s why :p

    Liked by 1 person

    • Good point. I can talk to people. I do it all day in my line of work. But I’d rather not interact with many if at all avoidable. It’s an odd dichotomy, being a people-person but not really caring about interacting with them. You’re right, this makes it easier. Besides, how often is a dude from Kentucky farm country gonna have a chat with someone from Bangladesh in the “real” world? 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I think you could say you are very clever and some people could take it as an insult. I tend to read everything in a sarcastic tone of voice, because I can be very sarcastic, and I don’t think people think about that when they read a post, you are reading it in the tone of voice of the emotion you are feeling.

    I like your comments

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Honestly I love all of your comments. I feel the same way too though. I’m so blunt when I comment. Some people might not understand my personality through my words & that I am a sweet person. Oh well, it is what it is right? Anyway I consider you to be a great friend & appreciate your comments!

    Liked by 1 person

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