Do as I say…

By: sonofabeach96

Mar 10 2016

Category: Uncategorized

100 Comments

(This is gonna be a bit of a rant.  If you don’t want to listen to me bitch and moan, ya’ may want to move along.)

I need to heed this advice, of the meme I’ve used, especially today.  Today has been shit!  It’s been building for a week and today it’s finally hit the fan.   I’m burning myself out, I’m stressed to the max, and I’m having serious doubts about my career.

My caseload is bunk, half or more of my patients are in-room treatments because of isolation precautions due to infections.  The other half fight me tooth and nail.  They’re either too tired, want to go home, or just shitty individuals.  They fail to fucking realize why they’re here, why they weren’t discharged home from the hospital.  Because they can’t go home!  They’re either too confused, too weak, too sick, and/or have no help at home. I can’t help them if they refuse to help themselves, even just a little.  Quite frankly, I have doubts about how much good I do for any of them anyway, even on a good day.

Efficiency numbers came out today, and mine were lower than what’s deemed ok by the new owners.  Got a little talking to from my boss.  The reason is because my caseload is shit, these people refuse and leave me scrambling to fill holes in my schedule with other lazy fucks who refuse too.  I hate corporate bullshit with a passion! Who the fuck do they think they are, sitting behind their cushy desks from on high, not having been on the front lines in years, if ever.  Fuck you and your pencil-pushing asses!  Come down and get your hands dirty once in while and you’ll understand why shit doesn’t always run smoothly.  Question me, my effort, my work ethic?!?  FUCK YOU!!!

My very first patient this morning falls while attempting to stand from the commode.  After I explicitly asked her not to stand without assistance.  Fucking did it anyway!  Hello paperwork and incident reports.  Nice to meet you!  I’m Mr. Pissed Off.

Transmission blew on my van last week.  That was fun.

My brother-in-law has thyroid cancer, and a dangerous surgery to remove it soon.  Potentially devastating his family, including my 5 year old niece.  Jesus, what’ll she do if her dad is gone?  FUCK CANCER!!!

I’m pretty overstimulated at the moment.  Looking at potentially leaving my career, buying a vehicle, dreading going to work daily, maybe losing a family member.  Throw the usual day-to-day shit on top of it, and I feel as though I’m losing it.

I’m trying to maintain.  I’m trying to see the good, count my blessings.  I’m trying to remember that all the stuff I mentioned is temporary, fixable, hopefully.  I’m trying to will myself out of burnout with my work.  Today?  I’m failing miserably.

Sorry for the rant.

My songs of the day are:

“Empty Me Out” by Liz Vice

“SOB” by Nathaniel Raitliff and The Night Sweats

“Tear My Steel House Down” by Gillian Welch

“Living On A Thin Line” by The Kinks

“C’mon Please” by Beau

“Things Happen” by Dawes

“Running On Empty” by Jackson Browne

“Ship To Wreck” by Florence and The Machine

 

 

100 comments on “Do as I say…”

  1. Dear gosh. Hang in there. This too shall pass.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Yep…you sound stressed. And I can’t think of anything more stressful than working in one of the medical arts and having to answer to a group of academics from a business college.

    They have no business telling us how to manage the care of our patients and in a sane world they would spend their days counting their profits from the sale of luxury items…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Rant away!!! We all need to at some point!!! My blogosphere shoulders are here for the taking SOB. 💪💪(I know,,,that’s a bicep, but you get me drift)

    Liked by 2 people

  4. OH DEAR! Them mfckers! Hang in there!

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey, so some light for you: I have a very dear friend who survived thyroid cancer. You want to hear good stuff, right? She had the surgery, the follow-up was rough- she had to be quarantined while the radiation worked through her system. But she came out of it and had a full recovery. So far, anyway, fingers crossed.
    And fuck the health care fuckheads! Fuckety, fuckety fuck, fuck, fuck! That felt good!
    Rant on, my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Rant away all you need too. As you use to say when Melanie gives life signs: we’re here for you…and so on. I say the same to you, we’re all here to listen and trying to give you some new energy.
    I hope everything will turn out well, but I can really understand your stressed situation. Not even turtle mode will help probably. I don’t have any good ideas that can help. Except you are right and all idiots around you are wrong 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Anna! I like the way you think! 😊
      Oh, Mel. I worry about her all the time. I wish I could take it away from her, even for a little while. Makes my problems seem small. Thanks for the perspective. 😊

      Like

  7. Don’t push me, ’cause I’m close to the edge…I’m trying not to lose my head! Sometimes a rant can do ya good. We all gotta blow off some steam every once in a while. I hope your situation gets better and pretty damn fast!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. […] visit our dear wo friend SOB96 and give him some new energy. He’s always there for us and tell us to rant if we need that. […]

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I hated working in the medical field after they went corporate….such assholes…..never thinking of the work load only the numbers at the end of the day….not sure where else you could find a job as I am not familiar with your area, but change is a good thing….sorry about your brother in law…..my sister had thyroid cancer and had hers removed years ago……and I have had half of mine removed…..thinking good thoughts for him…hey sweetheart go find some water and submerge….I can’t guarantee the nasty’s would be cleanses but I can guarantee you would enjoy it….feel for you…….kat

    Like

  10. just another thought….at my job when the new regime came in we all started keeping time lines, I know , I know they are a pain in the ass, but we kept track of out time…we did 15 minute increments….total pain in the ass, however when they started bitching… we all had time lines to lay out for them to show them they were unrealistic in the goals they had asked us to meet…just a thought….xxxxxxxxxxxkat.

    Liked by 2 people

  11. ¡Hola! . Me envía Anna para decirle:adelante!!!!,,todo se arreglará. 😊. Saludos.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Our productivity numbers are always low too. They forget we’re dealing with humans and you can’t just push them out the door. It’s stressful and I hate corporate bullshit too. 😦 I hope your day gets better. Rant away, we’re all here to listen and give support! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m glad you shared. I didn’t have cancer but had my thyroid removed several years ago. Surgery was not bad, neither was recovery. I’m so sorry your day has been crappy. It’s hard when the stresses build up so rant away whenever!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much. It’ll be all good. The concern with my BIL is that he’d been having symptoms for a year before finally going in. The diagnosis and scheduled surgery came quickly. My wife, who was once a floor nurse, and I are worried about mets. We’re positive and hopeful it’ll be fine, but today it hit me, what if it’s not? Ya’ know? I don’t let those “what-ifs” rule me, ever really, but when they invade, they’re a bit much. Sorry for the ramble on. And now I want to hear Led Zeppelin. 😊

      Like

  14. Oh son, I’m so terribly sorry you’re having a crappy week. I think it’s where you’re working more than disliking what you do. You have been such a good friend to me and I appreciate your never-ending support so very much. Please know I’m here for you. Sending you hugs n lots of love xo!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. And saying prayers for your BIL and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. FUCK CANCER!!!!!!! Cancer sucks, I’m praying for a successful surgery. Also, the corporate bullshit is an ass covering device designed to blame you while you’re doing your job. Railroading paper politics. Bulldozing for you over here, man.

    Liked by 1 person

    • It kills me that the “regional” or “district” suits, some of whom were NEVER on the floor, make decisions based on spreadsheets instead of reality. And even worse, most are from a nursing or healthcare administration backgrounds, not therapy. So therapy decisions are made by people who have zero experience therapy. That’d be like me, as an occupational therapist, making decisions about nursing issues. It’s all so screwed up. And all of us in therapy land just want to work with our patients, help them heal, and get them home. The suits tend to restrict the capability to do so.
      And, yes, FUCK CANCER!!!
      🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Wow. How to encourage and support one of the most wonderful people I know…?
    What I know is that everything is temporary and eventually these challenges will pass.
    Knowing your positive attitude on so many things, I know today will be overcome.
    Hang in there my friend!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. No need to apologize! And fuck those pencil pushing assholes! They have no concept! If it helps, Bernie had her thyroid removed and is doing reallywell. Fingers crossed for your BIL. Hang in there and we are all here for you to unload on if need be. TGIF!!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. One of the things I say a lot in HR is that I’m managing a product that has FREE WILL. Metrics are a guide but can never be a rule….

    Liked by 1 person

  20. You’ll make it as long as the burn is quick
    Yet the Cancer thing is out of your control
    Work is never easy when all they want is results
    Working with people can be trying
    I just got my car fixed after its been on the outs for a long time
    LIFE sucks
    But you could say your waiting for the next big thing to happen
    Which could be what you’ve been waiting for all along
    Hang in there
    The Sheldon Perspective

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s all good. Yes, work sucks, but there’s a reason they call it work. As for the car? Eh. I’m lucky in that I have my truck which I can use in the meantime. The repair bill will be a bit, but still better than 60 months of car payments. We can afford to buy a new car, but I don’t want to. To me, car payments are a waste of money, money that I prefer to save for retirement…the sooner the better. The cancer is out of my control, and I’m hopeful about it. Today is much better. A new sawn can bring a new perspective. Thanks for the comments! I really appreciate it! 😃

      Like

  21. It’s all good my friend
    I totally understand about the car payment
    See you soon
    Sheldon

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I remember walking down the street on July 3rd 2009 thinking “can this day get any worse?” HELL yeah! You could be one of patients tomorrow. ..

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s a good point. It just gets frustrating when they’re there for therapy, and without it they aren’t getting any better, yet they fight me at every turn. But in the line of work I’m in, I’m reminded to count my blessings…daily. And I do. But everybody has those days where it all sucks. The day I posted this was one of them.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Everybody’s got a unique combination of problems! you can’t but let them get on top of you sometimes. Yeah when you have an injury, you go through a phase of being bitter and hating the world, trying to blame someone. Until you come to the realisation “shit happens”.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can deal with my patients being angry, frustrated, and I don’t mind being cussed at, swung at, or even being disliked. What frustrates me is when they won’t even try. I have several on my caseload that are just giving up, even though they have great potential for progress. I’m usually pretty empathetic, very empathetic actually, but the not trying thing uninspires me. Makes me second guess my ability to provide them my best. If they aren’t gonna try, after my being patient and persistent and encouraging, why try myself. Don’t get like that much, but that’s how I felt the other day. A new day brought new resolve though, and a much better attitude. I just keep trying. At some point though, it’s ultimately up to them to put in some effort too. Only so much I can do. I wish all of my patients were as motivated to get well as you were.

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Mate I went through SEVERE depression. I had managed to turn a really shit life around. I had a nice flat, a fit Russian girlfriend that would do anything for me, a highly paid job and an awesome car. Imagine having earned all that and then suddenly not even being able to wipe your own arse? I didn’t feel like I had anything to live for, didn’t see the point of carrying on. I don’t know exactly what you do, or the people you work with, but the people behind the scenes can make all the difference. The odd word can change it all around for you. It’s natural to want to exercise some control, when you’ve lost all control over your life. Quite often, the only control you have is not doing what you’re supposed to. I don’t know if me telling you this will do any good, and don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you’re not doing everything in your power to accommodate for this. I just thought you hearing it from this perspective may help. Peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Absolutely it does! That’s a perspective I’m aware of, ya know, from a clinical point of view. I’m trained to see the progression through the Ranchos scale, to notice signs of depression, of the process. From a clinicians perspective. But there’s no possible way I can truly understand the whole thing from their perspective. No possible way. I’m not in their shoes, and no amount of empathy can replicate exactly what they’re experiencing. It’s invaluable to hear it from a patient who actually went through it. Thank you. Oh, I’m an OT by the way. Primarily ortho but also work a bit in the Brain Injury unit of our facility. Not just TBI’s but CVA’s and other neurological disorders. Been in the field for 18 years now.

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Cool beans dude, and no worries! Well then, just to let you know what’s worked for me…

    A tiny shift in perspective makes a huge difference. Looking at all the able-bodied people around me, going about normal life, it’s very easy to make comparisons between me and them. I focus on what I can’t do. But after talking to a quadriplegic person, I realise they’re looking at me in the same way. That makes me look at all the things I CAN do 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Take care of yourself. This kind of stress in multiple areas of your life is so hard. I hope your brother-in-law’s surgery goes well, and I hope things ease up for you all over the place.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. Rant away! I’m sorry I’m late on commenting but eff those assholes for thinking they know what you do! You work with people and that’s a difficult thing to try to put into a little square box!

    You’ve got a lot on your plate… Maybe some meditation might help take you away for a bit? Hope you feel better!

    Liked by 2 people

  28. I know I look like a creeper liking/commenting stuff from weeks ago LOL but I’m just playing catch up. Fuck…you have had a few shitty cards handed to you lately. I’m sorry man. I truly am. You know what? It’s OK to rant and spill it out here. We have to or we’ll fucking explode. I’m a “fixer” so I want to jump in and tell you what to do etc. but I’m not. You’ve got this. Hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

  29. I work in healthcare, too. My ex-clients still don’t have someone to replace me. Fuck the bureaucracy! What the hell do they know? They don’t know what it is like to have health problems. They expect their clients and workers to be perfect all the time. It’s asinine. Just keep doing what you know best. Keep the patient’s safety as your number one concern, and you will be fine. The hell with the rest of it.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Sounds like it. As long as the patient is 100 percent better, I could care less the cost.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Well, at least they have a good attitude.

    Liked by 1 person


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