Please, Be Kind

By: sonofabeach96

Jul 07 2016

Category: Uncategorized

63 Comments

Aperture:f/2.4
Focal Length:4.28mm
ISO:80
Shutter:1/120 sec
Camera:iPhone 4S

When you see someone out somewhere, that is…different, how do you react?  Do you stare, do you avoid eye contact, do you gawk and whisper, or do you snicker?  I’ve witnessed all of the above.  And I’ve been told of such reactions, and asked why they occurred, or to define the meaning behind them, from the person on the receiving end of such nonsense.  My oldest son.

He’s 13.  He’s kind.  He’s engaging.  He’s funny.  He’s friendly.  He’s somewhat naive still.  He’s giving.  He’s empathetic.  He’s smart.  He’s Autistic.  And, to all you folks who think he’s not aware of your rudeness or snide remarks?  He’s observant too.

You see, all of those amazing qualities I mentioned above afford him a great deal of sensitivity.  He’s acutely aware, in spite of what you may refer to as being disabled, slow, or any other insult you can conjure, when he’s being ignored, dismissed, or insulted.  And staring at him for his sometimes quirky behavior?  He’s keen to that too.  He just doesn’t understand why.

This child is different from the so-called norm, yes.  But you have no clue as to the mountains he’s climbed and obstacles he’s overcome.  The trials and testing and doctors and general difficulties he’s struggled with to become the fantastic individual he is today.  This child is an inspiration.  He’s stronger and wiser than you know.  He’s resourceful, he’s resilient, and he’s determined.  He is admirable.  And he’s human.  No less than any of you, especially those of you who may treat him as if he were.

Actually, now that I think about it, maybe I should thank you, asshole from yesterday evening, for handing me a terrific teaching opportunity.  I’m now blessed, because of you, asshole, to be able to dissuade him from developing an unhealthy cynicism towards humanity.  I can teach my amazing boy that not all people are assholes, like you.  That your insults and rudeness are not a reflection of my son and who he is, but a reflection of who you are, asshole.  I can explain that your attempt at cutting him down  is merely your method to take the focus away from your own miserable existence….asshole.  Well, actually, I didn’t tell that last bit to my son, in so many words at least.

No, I can’t always protect him from life’s harshness, or assholes…like you, asshole.  Nor do I think it’s healthy to do so.  Life is a bitch sometimes and developing that knowledge and learning how to roll with the punches and respond to adversity in a positive manner is essential.  Right now though, I’m in papa bear mode, and I don’t tolerate anyone messing with one of my cubs.  And, if it weren’t for assholes like you, asshole, I wouldn’t have to tell you, away from my son of course, that you are, in fact, an asshole.  I do not seek out confrontation, but I am not afraid of it.  And though it did feel fairly satisfying to confront you, I’d really rather not have to.  Next time, let’s avoid that awkward conversation altogether.  Please, don’t be an asshole, be kind.

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63 comments on “Please, Be Kind”

  1. This post was excellent and very moving. I can’t stand judgemental people who feel the need to be horrible to someone simply because they are different. You are a great father and you should rightfully be proud of your son. You go man, fuck the haters.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. This really moved me. It often seems some kids have a special sweetness about them. We could learn something from that.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. You are doing everything right!! Keep teaching him about those asshats, and that people always fear what they do not understand. Not that is makes it right – under any circumstances – to act like a douche. The more awareness we create, the better for us all! Big Hugs to your young man!! ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It is interesting and I think really true- mom always told me people try to tear you down when they feel bad about themselves! What a special dad and son! blessings! xxx

    Liked by 2 people

  5. You are awesome, Beach and because you are awesome, your boys will be too. Keep using those opportunities to teach life lessons…. the world ain’t a very pretty place sometimes. And the asshole that mistreated your son will have it handed back to him in some way shape or form. The universe has a way of self correcting. In the meantime, try to shake it off and get ready for the beach, Beach! Love ya, man!

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Yeah, I dealt with that crap as a kid, too. I have Asperger’s Syndrome, so I can relate to him. And yes, your post was great.

    Liked by 2 people

    • It’s really shitty. I hope your childhood days weren’t too bad. He’s safe at his school and such, and the other kids love him. Living in a small town, they’ve all known each other since kindergarten, and they all look after him. But to be in a sporting goods store and have some random person treat him like crap? Couldn’t let it slide. He handled it just fine. I didn’t. But papa bear doesn’t take kindly to that sorta thing.

      Liked by 3 people

  7. Special needs are special teachers…….❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  8. This is a wonderful and moving post. It’s such a shame that some people feel the need to open their mouth and spill their closed minded, judgmental opinions out onto others. It makes them feel so much better than the rest of humanity but they need to keep their opinions to themselves!

    Liked by 2 people

  9. My nephew was just diagnosed. He’s 3. Such a bright and beautiful boy, but no talking yet. He communicates with smiles and touches. He gets humor, and laughs. He says no in 3 syllables up and down in tone. So cute. My brother and sister in law are just starting the process of getting him into the state programs, and the different therapy he needs to start putting things together.
    I understand how you want to protect him from the ugly parts of the world. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my nephew to make sure he focuses on his gifts and talents, and not the detractors.
    Great post.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Oh man, are they in for a journey. If there’s anything we can help with, or any questions y’all may have, please don’t hesitate to let me know. We’d be happy to give some guidance or advice if ever needed. That child will teach y’all things you can’t fathom at this point. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Oh, this tears me up. As a mom of a mentally handicapped daughter, I hear you, and my heart goes out to you. People are cruel, and it breaks my heart when people stare and snigger, at my child. It angers me .They have no idea what she has gone through, what she has lost in life, they don’t know her story, and they have no right to treat her as they do. It is our duty to protect our children, which you rightly did. I have often been on the brink to confront, and trust me one day, will be the wrong day, and I will flip. What saddens me in your story is you say your son strugged it off basically, I just hope deep deep down he was not hurting.

    Liked by 2 people

    • We talked it out. He’s ok, but he simply can’t understand why people are the way they are. He knows we have his back though, no matter what. He’s getting to an age now where he realizes not everybody is nice. He’s still naive, but to a degree he’s more wise than most adults. He teaches me daily, as I’m sure your daughter does you as well. 😊

      Liked by 2 people

  11. I am curious to know what the asshole said or did, Papa Bear. I’m not playing Devil’s advocate by any means, but I am curious about what particularly set you off. Just trying to glean some more understanding, so that I can be more sensitive in the future. I nannied for an aspie girl, but I’m still pretty ignorant about Autism. I’m open to awareness, and look forward to further insights from you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • This instance wasn’t directly about Autism or being sensitive to a special need. He jumped his shit. My son was walking down the aisle, came upon this guy and his own kid, maybe a little older than mine. My son walks up to their cart and just put his hands on the cart and said hello. When they turned around, the dude raised his voice and told him to get off of his cart. One of his current tics resulted in some patchy hair loss. The girl snickers and says something about it and they both snickered again then walked off. He was left standing there in the aisle with this WTF? look on his face. I was at the other end of the aisle but heard and saw most of it. Not sure about you, but I thought it was worthy of mentioning to him. I wasn’t loud or out of line with what I said to him, even though I wanted to be. Should I have just let it go? No harm, no foul? Probably. But I’m not sorry I spoke to the asshole. And he was one, I promise.

      Liked by 2 people

      • Are you fucking kidding me? My jaw just hit the floor. That asshole most definitely needed to be broken off for his behavior, and I’m glad you addressed the situation. I don’t think I would have handled as gracefully as you did. Thanks for sharing, and I hope it didn’t seem like I was prying too much.

        Liked by 2 people

      • Nah. I wasn’t real specific in the original post. No worries. By the way, we’ll be cruising through Raleigh tomorrow (actually, today, as it’s 1:48am on Saturday) afternoon on way to Beaufort for the night. I’ll wave as we go by. 😃

        Liked by 2 people

      • I’m waving back! Hope y’all have the most fun ever. We’re heading to the beach ourselves for three days, starting tomorrow. Cheers to Summer!

        Liked by 2 people

      • Amen sista!!! 😃

        Liked by 2 people

  12. The douchebaggery that is permitted to openly wander the streets is practically criminal.

    Hugs to you and your boy. He’ll be OK. He has you.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. That is a fuckin horrible story. All over a hello?? And how the ignorance is passed down to the next generation…so sad what seem people are teaching their children. Good on you for saying something. Maybe they will both think better next time. Have a good trip this weekend. Safe travels for you and your family.

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I believe in teaching all kids, every child, that people are not nice sometimes. Having any child, learn this lesson and it needs to begin early in life. There are a lot of books which cover the subject well.
    How you respond is important for your kids to observe, by the way. Hopefully never stopping to the same level of idiocy of the mean or ignorant person!
    I have taught middle school language arts and after years went by, when I got upset with swear words and fighting, I made a joke: “If I am going to teach someone who’s going to stomp his or her feet and use swear words, I will go teach preschool!” (For the nine years I taught classes of 8 children with developmental disabilities and four typically developing twice daily, I absolutely loved each child.)
    Only one grandson, out of four, I worry about is very tender hearted. I tell him the silly things my parents and classmates said, “Think Skyler; I’m rubber and you’re glue. Bad things you say to me; bounce off me and stick to you.” The three girls are all “cracker jacks” and no one will want to go up against them. ha ha ha! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  15. Oops! “stopping” should be “stooping”

    Liked by 1 person

  16. That idiot would have a hard time in my little town. Almost everybody says hello to unknowns here. If he should do as he did to your son, he would have nothing else to do but that!

    I’ve been lucky to have met lots of “different” people through the years and they always reminds me of that we are all alike and they always teach me new angles of life.

    The idiot is the looser here. He won’t get the chance to get to know your son and his wisdom.

    Go papa bear! You did the right thing and this was an excellent post!

    Liked by 1 person

  17. LOL! Guess who gets stared at too?

    Liked by 1 person


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