What The What?!?

By: sonofabeach96

Jun 03 2017

Category: Uncategorized

24 Comments

This is gonna be an odd post.  I’ve done these kinds of prompts before, but these questions, from A Mommas View, are unusual, to be sure.  But, they sound fun, and it’s late and I’m wide awake, soooo…..

I’ll let the questions speak for themselves:

Are you drooling when brushing your teeth?

Not that I know of, but I’ll be paying attention now.

How often do you clean your bathroom?

Well, I have three boys, all with suspect aim, so more frequently than we’d like.  I swear I’m going to install a urinal as soon as I can find one.

Do you ever scratch your bum or you know what…?

Well, I’m a guy, so….., but scratching sounds kinda gross, especially ones ass.  I will say that periodically…..adjustment is necessary.  No matter what type of underwear or pants/shorts are in use, things move around.  I at least try to be discreet about it.

Do you smell your own armpits?

Um, no.  Though I did just have a Mary Katherine Gallagher flashback:

How long do you go till you wash your hair?

Everyday.  With the exception of when backcountry camping or something similar.  In that case, it’s maybe every other day.  Bathing in frigid river or lake water isn’t the most fun thing to do.

How often do you shower?

See previous answer.

Have you ever pooed and then realized you had not toilet paper?

Not that I recall.  But I’ve had to use leaves before.  Here’s a tip: a roll of TP doesn’t take up much room in a backpack.  Take one with you, even to remote locales.  Oh, and leaves of three, let ’em be.  Poison ivy on the crotch can not be fun.

If you run out of toilet paper what would you use to clean your bum?

Tissue, paper towel, or the aforementioned leaves.

What’s the silliest way you spend money?

This is a tough one, because I have many interests, and I am a collector.  But I’d probably say my stickers.

 

I have tons, but continue to buy them wherever I go.  It’s really an addiction, though a cheap one as addictions go.

Do you feel like the tourist nobody wants to have around when you are on vacation?

Nope.  I try to become a local, immerse myself, and just blend in as such.

Do you misbehave when you are on vacation (thinking spring break crazy)?

Well, I’m a family man now, so not so much, though I continue to do potentially harmful and fairly extreme things still, much to my wife’s chagrin.

But misbehaving?  Eh, I’ve done my partying vacations, complete with one-night stands, public nudity, excessive amounts of imbibing, etc, and maybe even a night in the county lock-up a time or two….maybe.  Oh, I broke my hand in a bar once on a Spring Break trip to South Padre Island.  Don’t ask.  So yeah, I’ve misbehaved on trips before, but I’d rather just hang with my wife and kids or friends now.

Have you ever vomited over someone’s shoes?

Only once, that I remember.  I’ve always held my alcohol pretty well, so not many vomit stories of any kind on my checkered past.  Though, I do recall an incident in the Tap Room of Phoenix Hill Tavern one $1-Jaggermeister-shot night.  I tried to make it through the crowd to get outside.  Didn’t make it.  I’d imagine some shoes got soiled in that process.

Did you ever get so drunk that you couldn’t remember a single thing?

There’s been more than one time that I lost portions of the previous night, but never the entire night.  Stuff usually comes back as friends remind you of your nonsense.

What do people really dislike about you?

I don’t know.  If there’s anything major, I’ve not been made aware of it.  I used to be very shy and I’ve always been a loner who does not need human interaction.  That attitude has had me labeled aloof or snobbish in the past.  I’m actually neither, but some consider it a character flaw when I don’t kiss their ass or hang out with them.  It’s not because I’m aloof.  It’s because you’re an asshole or I don’t really care what you have to say.  No offense.

Is there something you tend to ignore in regards to your spouse?

Nope.

Do you snore?

According to my wife, very lightly, and not every night.

Does your partner snore?

Not usually, no, unless she’s super tired or deep in REM.  And even then it’s light.

How does it make you feel when you hear snoring?

Well, generally it won’t wake me or anything, but if I’m trying to fall asleep with a heavy snorer around, I feel annoyed.  😃

What do you do with ear wax?

Um, remove with a Q-Tip then toss it.  What else would I do with it?

Do you play with your buggers?

Hahaha!  No.

Do you check out your napkin after blowing your nose?

No.  But, I do check my nostrils after blowing, if near a mirror.  You know, to make sure there aren’t any of the aforementioned buggers lingering around.

When you drop food, do you eat it still?

Yeah, at home, the 5-second rule is in play with some things.  Anywhere else?  Nope.

When you see a person that you find gross while on the beach, what do you do?

I don’t really find people gross, appearance wise at least.  So, I don’t really have an answer for this one.

Do you like to be touched?

Depends on by whom.  I don’t freak out if someone touches me in line or at a crowded bar or concert, but if it’s weird, I make it stop quickly.  My wife?  She can touch me anytime and anywhere.

Do you ask people how old they are?

My patients, yes.  It’s part of their chart and history, plus it’s a statistic in play when figuring out norms for heart rates, BP, exercise reps, range of motion, etc.  Anybody else?  Nope.

What do you think of people who have more than 6 kids?

Well, my heart is jealous, because I’ve loved being a dad.  If I were younger, I bet I would’ve talked my wife into another one, at least.  But my head thinks they’re fucking nuts!

Have you ever told someone to pluck their eyebrows?

No.

Have you kids ever asked inappropriate questions?

Ha!  I have three boys, 14 and two 12 year-olds, so I’ll say absofrigginlutely.

Have you ever asked a stranger where they live?

Again, my patients, yes.  Strangers?  Nope.

Did you ever pee on someones fence or next to someone’s house?

Yep.

Have you ever watched someone while they were… well, you know…

Well, not for the specific purpose of watching them…you know, but I’ve…you know, with others in the room.

When you are at the gym, do you check out other people there?

Nope.  I’m there to get in, get out.

While at the gym, do you wipe your equipment after using it?

Yes.  But more importantly, I do it before I use it too!

Do you sweat a lot?

On a hot day?  A little, depending on what I’m doing.  On a humid day?  Yep.

Do you sometimes put deodorant on instead of showering?

No.  As noted above, unless out in the woods for a few days, I shower daily, sometimes twice, if it’s been humid.

 

Alright.  There ya’ go.  Fairly painless, but a bit embarrassing I guess.  Good thing I don’t embarrass easily.  Head over to visit A Mommas View if you fancy embarrassing yourself as well…and to check out a terrific blogger too, of course.  You’ll like what you find.  😃

24 comments on “What The What?!?”

  1. I’m also awake late…
    I drool when I brush my teeth. Is that embarrassing? I also have to stay away from tequila… I barely remember why… 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a load of good fun. Loved it. 😏 Plenty of past embarrassing moments for me too …

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Unlike this format. It was a hilarious read! 😂😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I found this post absolutely hilarious and enjoyed reading it! Thanks for posting!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That was fun to read 🙂 Thanks so much for participating 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. LMAO. Funny questions and answers. I like the comment about the boys and suspect aims.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Lol. Going to have to check myself next time I am brushing my teeth…

    Liked by 1 person


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